Reminders For Amber #36 - Be Kind

I always tell you to be yourself - to be true to who you are. I should really also add to be your kinder self. Be the one who makes people’s lives a bit better when they meet you. A simple smile, a kind word, a sympathetic ear is all it takes for one person’s day to become better. Be that person who makes others feel better. Spread your innate kindness to others for I know you are such a good soul.

An old Cherokee told his grandson: “My son, there’s a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It’s anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It’s joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked: “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied: “The one you feed.” Feed the kind wolf, Amber. Always. For kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness; and kindness in giving creates love.

Doing a kind act has never weakened the doer. Kindness has a ripple effect that continues to give and feed on kindness. The great thing about being kind is that you get back twofold what you give. You get appreciation, a kind smile of gratitude or simply the sense that you helped even if it was just a small thing. I know you have a good heart, baby. You can be uncertain about many things but know that you are good from within. Radiate kindness and shine!

Reminders For Amber #35 - Be Musical

Plato said, “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” In his essay, The Republic, he even noted, “Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul.” Indeed music is integral to us as human beings. We have songs for every occasion. We sing when we are happy, also when we are sad. There are even angry music, rave music, and music for relaxation. 

It was writer Victor Hugo who said that “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” Music is the universal language that crosses cultures, beliefs, races. When we hear a beautiful melody, we are moved by it.  Music affects us regardless of our class or social status or even our level of education. It is the one gift that should be shared and given for all to enjoy, because it touches the heart and soul of each one of us. A beautiful tune is beautiful to anyone who hears it. You learn a lot about people if you listen to the songs that mean something to them.

I know you are a musical child, and I am truly happy that you have music in your life. It is a worthy companion that will help you in your path – gladden you more with joyful beats, heal you along when you are in pain with melancholic tunes, remind you of the past, and inspire you of the future. Always have music in your life, whether it be songs on the radio or your playlist or some new chords in your guitar. 

Always be musical for music unites us with the universe. Anything can be expressed through music. Any feeling that you have can also be relieved by music. It heals, it soothes, it inspires, it moves. Keep singing, keep listening, keep playing and always be musical Amber dearest. Sing your songs, share your melodies, and always have music in your heart.

Reminders For Amber #34 - Be Always Learning

Always be learning. Just as you should always be curious, you should always be open to the opportunities to learn something new, some new information, an updated data, a novel idea, even a different perspective.

They say that the capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill but the willingness to learn, that is a choice. Always choose to learn. It is the one treasure that you can take anywhere, more precious than anything, and one that cannot be taken from you. Just as certain as the sun will shine and keep burning is the fact that, in life, we should keep learning or perish.

Remember that Alanis Morisette song I play in the car? You live, you learn; you love, you learn; you cry/lose/bleed…you learn. So read, teach, talk, listen, share, experience, debate, suffer stuff but from it all, LEARN. Go ahead and learn a new song, a better way to cook potatoes (yes potatoes!), speak a new language, gain a new skill. Learning is about living and for certain, learning is life-long. So learn, Amber, learn well and keep learning.

Reminders For Amber #33 - Be Thankful

Always appreciate and give thanks for the things that you have. Never let the things you want make you forget or take for granted the many, many things that you already possess. Take time to be thankful for them because, just as you know you can always try to have more, you could possibly also have less.

Be thankful even for the bad things that come your way for they make you appreciate more the good things that you have. If you focus on finding good in any situation, you will discover that your life is actually quite good. So be thankful and that gratitude will nurture your soul.

Appreciate the people in your life, dear Amber. Always say “thank you”. Be grateful for everyday you are alive. Gratitude is the greatest of all virtues for it makes you humble and hopeful and humane. Our simple gestures of gratitude and thanks also warms the hearts of others. Gratitude is the one sure way to bring a positive change in your life. Now and then, it is good to take a break from our pursuit of happiness to simply just be happy. Always remember that it is not what you have in your pockets that make you happy but what you have in your heart. Be thankful, dear child, for that and always give thanks.

Reminders For Amber #32 - Be Bold

Doors open to those who are bold enough to knock, and more so, for those who dare enough to enter. Great opportunities come to the bold, the brilliant, and the brave. Go and dream your dreams but be bold enough to live those dreams and make them real. For being bold has genius, power and magic in it. 

Notice how normal letters get more noticed when bold? Dare to be bold Amber! Put a grain of boldness in everything you do. Take your fears by the horns and tame them. You gain courage, wisdom and so much more in life when you really stop and look your fears in the eyes and deny them control over you. There is nothing more bad-ass than being bold.

Often, life’s failures and pains covers you in a blanket of fear and caution but what kind of life is it when you just color inside the lines? Be bold and use your voice to say what you think. Be bold enough to wear the colors that you like, play the music that makes your heart sing; do the things that bring you immense joys.

No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess. Nowhere was ever reached or conquered without someone being bold enough to take the first step. They say that fortune always favors the bold. They also say that there is freedom in being bold. So dear Amber, be bold, be bold and in everything be bold.

Reminders for Amber #31 - Be In Love

This should have been posted for February in time for Valentine's Day but it came a bit early. Still, one of my reminders for you is to always be in love.

Amber dearest, choose to be in love. Even if you know that loving may hurt you or disappoint you, love anyway. Fall into it. Fall hard. Feel all the magical and awesome emotions that go with falling in love. But also remember that you, yourself deserve love and affection…the love and affection that comes from none other but you.

Love yourself. Love your family. Choose a job that you really love. Find your true love. Allow love to find you every day. Be open to the many and varied possibilities of loving and being loved.

Maya Angelou wrote,"First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love. "

You are now at the age when you start to have crushes and preferences for people you deem special. Cherish these moments! Just know that sometimes, the one you fall for may not yet be ready to catch you. Still, fall anyway. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and choose to fall in love again. For those who have not loved, have not really lived and for those who have truly loved, they have the bravest, strongest and fullest hearts of all. Our ordinary lives become enchanting fairytales because of love.  And remember, I and your dad will always, always love you.

Reminders For Amber #30 - Be Curious

When they said “curiosity killed the cat”, they forgot to mention that said cat probably, albeit dead, went further than the other kittens in the litter. And knew more. So never lose your curiosity, dearest Amber. Curiosity is the key to creativity. It is the spark that ignites a question, an idea, an innovation. It is the most powerful thing that you can own.

Always explore, question, dig deeper. Never accept anything at face value. Find your truths and search for the answers to your own curiosities. Science is merely a word we use to describe our own curiosity as thinking human beings. Curiosity is the wick in the candle that is learning.

Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you. You my dear Amber, must go and acquire it. Albert Einstein said, “The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing.” Remain curious and keep learning for the curious will always have adventures and will never get bored.

Reminders For Amber #29 - Be Enough

Let this be one of your life’s mantras: “I am enough.” Yes, you are truly enough so never sell yourself short. Always be the first-rate version of yourself instead of trying to be a second-rate version of someone else.

Each one of us has one life to live and that should keep you busy. Whatever you are doing, do it completely and love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, know that it is the right emotion for that moment and really feel it.

Amber, you are wonderful, valuable, worthwhile, lovable and awesome. Not because others think so. Self worth comes from only one place: self. So long as you are still worried about what others think about you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you truly own yourself. So know who you really are and know that you are enough. You are more than enough.

Reminders for Amber #28 - Be Organized

Live a life of order. Try to organize your thoughts, your day, and your year ahead. Even if life is too uncertain, make plans, have a checklist. Things will definitely change and you will need a plan B, but that’s the operative word, to have a plan. Come up with plans, make it from A to Z, so you can prepare for any circumstance.

Make plans and follow through till you accomplish them. Organise your things, your home and your time to be more efficient. Success comes from well thought-out plans and organised actions. Start with the simplest things: organize your wardrobe, your dresser, your bag. Remember what I always tell you? That "there’s a place for everything and everything should be in its place." I know you’ve probably been sick of hearing this from me but I won’t stop reminding you. If you know where everything is, it would be easier to access them, even in the dark. Even when things are chaotic around you, so long as your person is kept orderly, you will eventually set things right.

Only when you can plan can you think things through. Only with planning will you be able to see the bigger picture. Organized people are better prepared than those who live without measures. Imagine the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Then, go ahead and achieve them. Remember the 4 D’s - De-clutter: remove unnecessary things, Delineate: assign tasks and goals, Define: know what you have to do, and Device: plan and execute what you need.  So go ahead Amber and make plans.  Plan for anything and everything!

Reminders For Amber #27 - Be In Control

No matter what you go through, always be aware of how you are able to manage anything that happens. Take control of your feelings, your thoughts, your words, how you react to others, and how you deal with any situation.

I know you cannot really plan for anything and anything can happen or change in a split second, but you can decide how you deal with it. You always have the choice to be in control of yourself. Indeed, Amber dearest, one of your biggest challenges in this life is how you will be able to control yourself.

Know when you are being manipulated into something and learn to say no. Walk away from people and events that impede you. In the same manner, do not try to control or manipulate others.  A lot of people suffer because they want or even try to control others and yet, they are unable to control themselves.

Having self-control allows you to do what matters the most and not what comes the easiest.  

Reminers For Amber #26 - Be Simple

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with living that we insist on making life complicated when in fact, the basics of life and living are simple.  As you begin this new year, know that in anything, the beauty of style and harmony, grace, and even, good rhythm depends on simplicity.

Live a simple yet full life. It is the sweet, simple things of life that are important and real: the air your breathe, the sun to keep you warm, night and day and the hours in between to keep busy, to give and receive love, to learn, to eat, sleep, share, teach, care, create, laugh, dance, sing, and grow.  Simply spend time with family, friends, people who care for you and you care about.    Remove all the frills and the frivolous and stick to the essentials.

You can achieve anything and everything by being simple and humble.  When you just aim for the things you need, not what you want; when you stick to the things in life that are meaningful to you; when you know and choose those that truly matter, then you would be able to keep everything simple, stress-free and true.

Any fool can make things grander, bigger, and fancier.  It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to stay simple.  

Reminders For Amber #25 - Be Artistic

Be free to live your life sustaining and being inspired by all your artistic inclinations. Whether it be musical, visual like drawing or lettering (calligraphy!), or even performing, be a wizard and work your magic through your artistic pursuits.

Art is freedom. It is being able to see things in a different light. By being artistic, you are able to use your talents to bend a straight line. You can think differently and do things in other ways, and with style.  You create a world that becomes more beautiful with what you put into it.

Remember your blue apple? Yes, never forget how creative and artistic you were as a child. Nurture it, and give it time to reach your surface. Give in to the artist inside you. It is one of your passions and one that makes you happy as well as something that truly makes you, uniquely you.

Be an artist and go create things. Within you are the endless beautiful things that you can artistically create!

Reminders For Amber #24 - Be Inspired

Dear Amber, what is the point of living when you do not at least try to do something remarkable with your life and the time that is given to you? So find the things that inspire you and makes you feel alive and go ahead do them. Your life is your message to the world, so make sure you leave something inspiring.

Meet people who have done great things and be inspired by their stories. Listen to inspirational songs, quotes, even jokes that will keep you going when life hits rough patches. Travel to stimulating places, reflect on brilliant concepts, and commune with enthusiastic people. Read inspiring books.  

Find inspiration from the mundane and simple things.  Find your passion and be inspired by it.  Who knows, you just might be inspiring others, with you living your life, and keeping inspired despite all odds.

Reminders For Amber #23 - Be Alive!

There is a difference between just breathing and truly living, Amber Declan. I wish that in your lifetime, you will truly live.

Suck that proverbial marrow out of life and experience each moment to the fullest. Since we only get one chance at living, be sure to do your living well. Take it the furthest, the highest, and the deepest that you can.

We often worry about how we are living that we forget to really and truly be alive. So when you are bogged down with life’s worries, stop and appreciate that you are still alive. Then go ahead and truly live.

Reminders For Amber #22 - Be Beautiful

My darling daughter, as you grow into the woman you are supposed to be, remember that you were born already equipped with the beauty that will bloom from within. By being yourself, you put something beautiful into this world that was not there before.

So remember that true beauty is being comfortable and confident in your own skin and that happy people are often the prettiest because their glow and smiles shine from deep within.

Make-up will not make you beautiful. Neither will the latest fashion. True beauty is who you are, what you say, how you do things, and how you treat people. Your thoughts, your words, your deeds, the essence of who you are, these are what makes you truly beautiful.

Do not hide your beauty. Let it shine. Wear your red lipstick with your best smile.

Reminders For Amber #21 - Be Strong

Dear Amber, you are given this life because you are strong enough to live it. So live well and be strong.

Remember that strength does not come from winning. It is the many struggles and tests that you go through in life which develop your own strength and make you into a strong person. And know that only from mastering your own weaknesses will you become truly strong.

When you go through hardships knowing you may fail and yet, decide to face them head on anyway, then my dear, THAT is strength.

So go and be that strong girl who makes it through life’s many trials. Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.

Tough situations build tough people. True strength is being able to keep everything together, when everyone else expects things to fall apart. Find your inner strength and use it. Fortify your mind, your heart, your emotions, your spirit so you are able to face anything and everything that comes your way with courage.

Reminders For Amber #20 - Be Resilient

Often in life, we get blocked and we make mistakes that make us want to just drop the towel, give in or give up the fight. Life taunts us to quit. What we mostly forget is that success comes to those who persevere. It rewards those who are stubborn enough to keep fighting and those who are resilient enough to keep on going.

So keep on. When you fall, cry for the hurt you’ve just been death with; mourn your losses; lick your wounds. But get up, keep going and keep fighting.

The greatest triumphs in life lies in falling and then, being able to rise up again. Over and over again. Resilience is knowing that you are the only one who has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up. Resilience is not how high you have climbed but how far you have bounced back after life’s many setbacks.

Reminders For Amber #19 - Be Honest

It is sometimes difficult to tell what you really feel because you may not want to hurt other people’s feelings. There is a tack and a certain skill involved with being able to tell the truth. You can be truthful without being brutal. People will be able to tell a liar from an honest person, so always be honest. They say, “The Truth Shall Set You Free.” And that is always the case.

Lies beget more lies.  Indeed, it is simpler to tell the truth.  People who love you will appreciate and understand while those who only mean you harm will never listen, or believe anyway.  Still, keep to what is true and never lie even to save someone’s heart from breaking.  Your truths are as important as anyone else’s.  Speak truthfully always.

Reminders For Amber #18 - Be Successful

Dear Amber, as you go through life, work towards progress and always strive for success.  When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you will surely be successful.   Dream dreams, make goals, and do whatever it takes to make them real.  Achieve!

Success is not the key to happiness but happiness is definitely key to success.  If you are happy and love what you do, surely you will be successful.  Have your heart in what you do and do it with all your heart.  Live your life towards goals and measure yourself on how far you've come to achieve them.  Stay focused on your goals and always stay positive.  Believe that you can and will make them come true.

A truly successful person is one who can build a beautiful and strong foundation out of the rocks and bricks that others have thrown at him.  Turn your failures into lessons and hurdles into challenges to do better, to try again, to work harder and to triumph over anything life throws your way.

No one will hand success to you, you must go and find it yourself.  So live well and succeed!  Conquer the world, conquer yourself.  Be your own master.

Reminders For Amber #17 - Be Responsible

Amber dear, as I try to remind you of things that will matter in life, I hope that you realise that these are just guidelines, merely reminders.  I cannot guarantee you a smooth, happy life.  I cannot secure for you a bright future.  I would if I could but life is just too unpredictable for anything.

But I can instill in your young person, the ability to be responsible for yourself.  I can help you grow up to be a responsible individual.  I can already see that in how you take charge with your studies, how you organise your time and how you handle the consequences of your actions.  I can see how your are growing to be a responsible and capable young lady!

Keep at it, and never fear taking on responsibilities.  This will continue to hone you to be the best you can be.  Just remember that you are always responsible for how you act despite how you may feel.  Be responsible for your words, thoughts and actions.  Know your rights; see the bigger picture; be accountable.  Your life is ultimately your own responsibility.