Reminders For Amber #39 - Be Good

It is one of the hardest things to do, Amber dearest. Being good and staying good. But try your hardest to be a good person. Being a good person does not depend on your religion, race, skin color, culture or whether you have a degree or a huge credit balance in your bank account. It is shown in how good your heart is and in how you treat others. The words you speak, the thoughts you bear, the actions your sow. 

Sometimes it is a challenge to be good, especially when you have ill feelings towards another or for a certain situation you are in, but choose to be good anyway. Know that there is no limit to the amount of good you can do or being as good a person you can be. Be super-duper good that no one can ignore you. 

Live each day by being kind to others. Strive for joy in your heart and peace with your fellowmen. Always do good and be good because when it comes down to it, you’ll never regret being good.

Reminders For Amber #38 - Be Open to New Ideas

Many times in our life we get hit by curveballs that may not make sense to us at that particular time but would eventually get clearer as time progresses. Even if you have firm beliefs in things, try and be open to new things as well.

Like when I ask you to try a new dish, learn a new song (well, ok they are mostly old but they never grow old!), even learn a new language, I’m asking you to give it a try. Yes, be open to the possibilities. The operative words is to be open.

Have an open mind to welcome new thoughts, different ideas, or strange theories. Progress and growth never came out of staying in one place or being closed off from the world. Neither could there be any higher understanding if we just stick to what we believe.

When I say find your own truths, I also mean for you to shatter them, test them against new ones and see if they still hold. Then your faith would be stronger and you would be more certain. By being open to anything can you actually become anything and everything you so desire.

Reminders For Amber #37 - Be Silly

Mix a little bit of silly in your serious plans in life. There is a certain kind of happiness derived from a little dose of silliness and I know you enjoy it.

I think being a little bit silly and doing a bit of foolishness helps keep us from leading boring lives. So have fun, be silly. You are allowed to be silly!

A little bit of silly can put a smile on your face after a weary day. It can liven your soul and maybe even create a reaction in your brain to be able to come up with great ideas.

It would even be more fun if you can find friends or family who can be silly along with you.  People who appreciate and celebrate your silliness.

No one is perfect and anything can go wrong in so many ways despite how well you plan for them. So learn to be able to take a break from the seriousness of it all and infuse short bursts of silliness in your days. Wear a funky hat or weirdo glasses. Crack a joke or surprise someone with an unusual statement.

You can never call yourself brave until you have done a fantastically silly thing and lived through it.

Reminders For Amber #36 - Be Kind

I always tell you to be yourself - to be true to who you are. I should really also add to be your kinder self. Be the one who makes people’s lives a bit better when they meet you. A simple smile, a kind word, a sympathetic ear is all it takes for one person’s day to become better. Be that person who makes others feel better. Spread your innate kindness to others for I know you are such a good soul.

An old Cherokee told his grandson: “My son, there’s a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It’s anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It’s joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked: “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied: “The one you feed.” Feed the kind wolf, Amber. Always. For kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness; and kindness in giving creates love.

Doing a kind act has never weakened the doer. Kindness has a ripple effect that continues to give and feed on kindness. The great thing about being kind is that you get back twofold what you give. You get appreciation, a kind smile of gratitude or simply the sense that you helped even if it was just a small thing. I know you have a good heart, baby. You can be uncertain about many things but know that you are good from within. Radiate kindness and shine!

Reminders For Amber #35 - Be Musical

Plato said, “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.” In his essay, The Republic, he even noted, “Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul.” Indeed music is integral to us as human beings. We have songs for every occasion. We sing when we are happy, also when we are sad. There are even angry music, rave music, and music for relaxation. 

It was writer Victor Hugo who said that “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” Music is the universal language that crosses cultures, beliefs, races. When we hear a beautiful melody, we are moved by it.  Music affects us regardless of our class or social status or even our level of education. It is the one gift that should be shared and given for all to enjoy, because it touches the heart and soul of each one of us. A beautiful tune is beautiful to anyone who hears it. You learn a lot about people if you listen to the songs that mean something to them.

I know you are a musical child, and I am truly happy that you have music in your life. It is a worthy companion that will help you in your path – gladden you more with joyful beats, heal you along when you are in pain with melancholic tunes, remind you of the past, and inspire you of the future. Always have music in your life, whether it be songs on the radio or your playlist or some new chords in your guitar. 

Always be musical for music unites us with the universe. Anything can be expressed through music. Any feeling that you have can also be relieved by music. It heals, it soothes, it inspires, it moves. Keep singing, keep listening, keep playing and always be musical Amber dearest. Sing your songs, share your melodies, and always have music in your heart.

Reminders For Amber #34 - Be Always Learning

Always be learning. Just as you should always be curious, you should always be open to the opportunities to learn something new, some new information, an updated data, a novel idea, even a different perspective.

They say that the capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill but the willingness to learn, that is a choice. Always choose to learn. It is the one treasure that you can take anywhere, more precious than anything, and one that cannot be taken from you. Just as certain as the sun will shine and keep burning is the fact that, in life, we should keep learning or perish.

Remember that Alanis Morisette song I play in the car? You live, you learn; you love, you learn; you cry/lose/bleed…you learn. So read, teach, talk, listen, share, experience, debate, suffer stuff but from it all, LEARN. Go ahead and learn a new song, a better way to cook potatoes (yes potatoes!), speak a new language, gain a new skill. Learning is about living and for certain, learning is life-long. So learn, Amber, learn well and keep learning.

Reminders For Amber #33 - Be Thankful

Always appreciate and give thanks for the things that you have. Never let the things you want make you forget or take for granted the many, many things that you already possess. Take time to be thankful for them because, just as you know you can always try to have more, you could possibly also have less.

Be thankful even for the bad things that come your way for they make you appreciate more the good things that you have. If you focus on finding good in any situation, you will discover that your life is actually quite good. So be thankful and that gratitude will nurture your soul.

Appreciate the people in your life, dear Amber. Always say “thank you”. Be grateful for everyday you are alive. Gratitude is the greatest of all virtues for it makes you humble and hopeful and humane. Our simple gestures of gratitude and thanks also warms the hearts of others. Gratitude is the one sure way to bring a positive change in your life. Now and then, it is good to take a break from our pursuit of happiness to simply just be happy. Always remember that it is not what you have in your pockets that make you happy but what you have in your heart. Be thankful, dear child, for that and always give thanks.

Reminders For Amber #32 - Be Bold

Doors open to those who are bold enough to knock, and more so, for those who dare enough to enter. Great opportunities come to the bold, the brilliant, and the brave. Go and dream your dreams but be bold enough to live those dreams and make them real. For being bold has genius, power and magic in it. 

Notice how normal letters get more noticed when bold? Dare to be bold Amber! Put a grain of boldness in everything you do. Take your fears by the horns and tame them. You gain courage, wisdom and so much more in life when you really stop and look your fears in the eyes and deny them control over you. There is nothing more bad-ass than being bold.

Often, life’s failures and pains covers you in a blanket of fear and caution but what kind of life is it when you just color inside the lines? Be bold and use your voice to say what you think. Be bold enough to wear the colors that you like, play the music that makes your heart sing; do the things that bring you immense joys.

No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess. Nowhere was ever reached or conquered without someone being bold enough to take the first step. They say that fortune always favors the bold. They also say that there is freedom in being bold. So dear Amber, be bold, be bold and in everything be bold.

Reminders for Amber #31 - Be In Love

This should have been posted for February in time for Valentine's Day but it came a bit early. Still, one of my reminders for you is to always be in love.

Amber dearest, choose to be in love. Even if you know that loving may hurt you or disappoint you, love anyway. Fall into it. Fall hard. Feel all the magical and awesome emotions that go with falling in love. But also remember that you, yourself deserve love and affection…the love and affection that comes from none other but you.

Love yourself. Love your family. Choose a job that you really love. Find your true love. Allow love to find you every day. Be open to the many and varied possibilities of loving and being loved.

Maya Angelou wrote,"First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love. "

You are now at the age when you start to have crushes and preferences for people you deem special. Cherish these moments! Just know that sometimes, the one you fall for may not yet be ready to catch you. Still, fall anyway. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and choose to fall in love again. For those who have not loved, have not really lived and for those who have truly loved, they have the bravest, strongest and fullest hearts of all. Our ordinary lives become enchanting fairytales because of love.  And remember, I and your dad will always, always love you.

Reminders For Amber #30 - Be Curious

When they said “curiosity killed the cat”, they forgot to mention that said cat probably, albeit dead, went further than the other kittens in the litter. And knew more. So never lose your curiosity, dearest Amber. Curiosity is the key to creativity. It is the spark that ignites a question, an idea, an innovation. It is the most powerful thing that you can own.

Always explore, question, dig deeper. Never accept anything at face value. Find your truths and search for the answers to your own curiosities. Science is merely a word we use to describe our own curiosity as thinking human beings. Curiosity is the wick in the candle that is learning.

Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you. You my dear Amber, must go and acquire it. Albert Einstein said, “The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing.” Remain curious and keep learning for the curious will always have adventures and will never get bored.

Reminders For Amber #29 - Be Enough

Let this be one of your life’s mantras: “I am enough.” Yes, you are truly enough so never sell yourself short. Always be the first-rate version of yourself instead of trying to be a second-rate version of someone else.

Each one of us has one life to live and that should keep you busy. Whatever you are doing, do it completely and love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, know that it is the right emotion for that moment and really feel it.

Amber, you are wonderful, valuable, worthwhile, lovable and awesome. Not because others think so. Self worth comes from only one place: self. So long as you are still worried about what others think about you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you truly own yourself. So know who you really are and know that you are enough. You are more than enough.

Reminders for Amber #28 - Be Organized

Live a life of order. Try to organize your thoughts, your day, and your year ahead. Even if life is too uncertain, make plans, have a checklist. Things will definitely change and you will need a plan B, but that’s the operative word, to have a plan. Come up with plans, make it from A to Z, so you can prepare for any circumstance.

Make plans and follow through till you accomplish them. Organise your things, your home and your time to be more efficient. Success comes from well thought-out plans and organised actions. Start with the simplest things: organize your wardrobe, your dresser, your bag. Remember what I always tell you? That "there’s a place for everything and everything should be in its place." I know you’ve probably been sick of hearing this from me but I won’t stop reminding you. If you know where everything is, it would be easier to access them, even in the dark. Even when things are chaotic around you, so long as your person is kept orderly, you will eventually set things right.

Only when you can plan can you think things through. Only with planning will you be able to see the bigger picture. Organized people are better prepared than those who live without measures. Imagine the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Then, go ahead and achieve them. Remember the 4 D’s - De-clutter: remove unnecessary things, Delineate: assign tasks and goals, Define: know what you have to do, and Device: plan and execute what you need.  So go ahead Amber and make plans.  Plan for anything and everything!

Reminders For Amber #27 - Be In Control

No matter what you go through, always be aware of how you are able to manage anything that happens. Take control of your feelings, your thoughts, your words, how you react to others, and how you deal with any situation.

I know you cannot really plan for anything and anything can happen or change in a split second, but you can decide how you deal with it. You always have the choice to be in control of yourself. Indeed, Amber dearest, one of your biggest challenges in this life is how you will be able to control yourself.

Know when you are being manipulated into something and learn to say no. Walk away from people and events that impede you. In the same manner, do not try to control or manipulate others.  A lot of people suffer because they want or even try to control others and yet, they are unable to control themselves.

Having self-control allows you to do what matters the most and not what comes the easiest.  

Reminers For Amber #26 - Be Simple

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with living that we insist on making life complicated when in fact, the basics of life and living are simple.  As you begin this new year, know that in anything, the beauty of style and harmony, grace, and even, good rhythm depends on simplicity.

Live a simple yet full life. It is the sweet, simple things of life that are important and real: the air your breathe, the sun to keep you warm, night and day and the hours in between to keep busy, to give and receive love, to learn, to eat, sleep, share, teach, care, create, laugh, dance, sing, and grow.  Simply spend time with family, friends, people who care for you and you care about.    Remove all the frills and the frivolous and stick to the essentials.

You can achieve anything and everything by being simple and humble.  When you just aim for the things you need, not what you want; when you stick to the things in life that are meaningful to you; when you know and choose those that truly matter, then you would be able to keep everything simple, stress-free and true.

Any fool can make things grander, bigger, and fancier.  It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to stay simple.