Thursday, September 16, 2021

50 Days to 50 - Day 6

 Sep 16 - Day 6 to 50

The mother of my heart and my second great love is my mommy Connie.  After my nanay Concing, Ma. Concepcion Jardeleza Linco (who was named after nanay Concing),  was the most constant person in my life and cared for me like I was her own.

She was the third and youngest daughter of Pacing and Concing who everyone fondly calls, Inday Connie.  She was greatly influenced by lola Peling and like her she was also the glue that kept the family together.  Generous to a fault, she’d support any relative in need – whether a temporary home, some money, counsel – anything she could provide.

From the age to 3, I have lived with her and my adoptive father, Alfredo Pena-Montilla Villaurel, Jr.  When their only son, Alvin was born, I was already part of their family.  Back then we lived in Puresa, Quezon City and Alvin was born in Mary Chiles Hospital and baptized in the church inside Camp Aguinaldo.  Nanay Concing was there to help mommy Connie with her new baby and I was there because I bawled all night without my nanay and mama Minda sent me over, fulfilling their (with her sister Connie) agreement that if I were a girl, she would take me and raise me.

From Bacolod, I sailed to Manila with my tatay Pacing and tiyo Aging, to live with my new parents, the Villaruels.  Mommy Connie was my mother and Daddy Fred my father from then on. 

Mommy Connie is the voice of calm and reason in my head.  Often steering me gently towards better decisions in my life.  She gave me stability and love aside from usual care.  I never lacked for anything and though we were not rich, we were comfortable.  She was also quite the disciplinarian creating a schedule for me and Alvin with chores to do early on in our childhood so we grew up knowing essential household tasks like cleaning, dishwashing, laundry and cooking simple meals.

She was also spiritual prayerful, instilling in us praying the rosary daily.  We’d all pray together before going to bed. Sunday masses, novena masses on Wednesdays, are some of my memories of her who’d gift me prayer books, rosaries and religious medallions throughout my life. 

But she also liked to have fun.  She was a sociable person and had circles of friends – from work, our community, close and distant relations.  While living in Cebu, she became president of a Jaycee’s club and often hosted parties at home.  Friends would also often get together to play mahjong or just chat with her.  She always welcomed everyone and was a gracious host despite struggling finances or uncertain income.

She lived and worked abroad, in the US, for several years until dad got sick and she had to come home to care for him.  Mom cared for dad till his last breath, remaining loving and cheerful and sweet.  Their love story is for another tribute (watch this space!) in another entry. 

Mommy Connie was also a loving daughter to her parents and supportive sister to her siblings.  Everyone gravitated towards her.  And she never denied anyone.  Later on when she became ill herself, she never bothered anyone else about her difficulties.  Only those closest to her, me and Alvin, knew she’d been ill and for a time already.  Her death was a hard blow to us all and each day I still have to come to terms that she is truly gone. 

I’m fortunate she and Amber had some good memories together and that my daughter got to know and love her.  She was there with me when Amber was born and got to take care of my baby in her very first months. 

I’ve learned to love and care from the two Concepcions in my life, my nanay Concing and my mommy Connie.  From my mommy Connie, I have learned to be a woman and mother, and I will always be grateful to her for everything. I love her dearly and miss her always.

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